What’s The Hold Up?

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Could somebody please explain to me why it is that young people deliberately show so little urgency while crossing a street in front of traffic?  Not that I mind stopping for pedestrians at all. It just feels polite and neighborly to show some sense of acknowledgment. If they were in so little rush to make their way across the street, then why couldn’t they just have waited for the traffic to pass?  

I find myself imagining sometimes that I can see a leash as if perhaps, they’ve taken their pet clam out for a walk and are carefully guiding it, Old…, whatever it’s name is across the street.

Seriously, it’s irritating! So pull your pants up and get the hell out of the way!  If you’re dickering around out there in the middle of the road you’re not only inconsiderate to the motorists there waiting for you to cross, but you are also in harms way.  This isn’t rocket science and besides, you can’t even pretend to have an idea of who or what kind of booze lappin’, moving satellites with a cell phone, half wit may be behind the wheel of the vehicle you’re holding up.  So, you have no idea whether or not he even gives a shit if you or Old…, what’s its name ever make it across.

Allow me to fill you in on something.  The laws that govern how we conduct ourselves or, in what condition we conduct ourselves behind the steering wheel of a motor vehicle don’t work.  For example, we all know somebody that has been affected by drinking and driving.  For all the effort applied to discouraging it, there are still incidents of drinking and driving in every town. There are two very specific reasons why I know that is true.  The first is, I happen to be a firefighter and a paramedic and the second?  I  happen to be Irish but, hold the jokes until I’m done.

The point is this, if you’re trying to get across the street then GET ACROSS THE STREET!  If you’d rather be cool, be killed or otherwise pulverized into something that feels like a bag of Legos by some scatter brained day camper that got distracted by your clam then take your sweet time sunshine!   Or better yet, just lay down out there and it will happen, I promise.  Then you won’t have to go through all the trouble of maturing into a full grown adult nitwit which, at the pace you’re moving would likely never happen in my life time, much less your own. – Kevin H

John is a badass motha fucka

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