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Things A Caddie Should Not Say

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For those of you who do not golf, let me fill you in on what a caddie is supposed to do.  He/she is supposed to carry your clubs, fix your divots/ball marks, talk to you about the yardage of the hole with regards to hazards and help you read a green or two.  He is never supposed to disagree with you or tell you that you are wrong. He is supposed to help you with your confidence and even if you are not lined up perfectly for your 20 footer, he is supposed to say perfect line.    So when watching the PGA Tour remember this. Some of the caddies play a bigger role with the players in helping them with their club selection and reading greens, but most are there to be a supporter and only help when asked.  So now that you understand more about a caddies role, the below should even sound funnier.  TMTML@RollinSD.com

#10 Golfer: “Think I’m going to drown myself in the lake.”
Caddy: “Think you can keep your head down that long?”
#9 Golfer: “I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.”
Caddy: “Try heaven, you’ve already moved most of the earth.”
#8 Golfer: “Do you think my game is improving?”
Caddy: “Yes , you miss the ball much closer now.”
#7 Golfer: “Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?”
Caddy: “Eventually.”
#6 Golfer: “You’ve got to be the worst caddy in the world.”
Caddy: “I don’t think so . That would be too much of a Coincidence.”
#5 Golfer: “Please stop checking your watch all the time. It’s too much of a distraction.”
Caddy: “It’s not a watch – it’s a compass.”
#4 Golfer: “How do you like my game?”
Caddy: “Very good , but personally, I prefer golf.”
#3 Golfer: “Do you think it’s a sin to play on Sunday?
Caddy: “The way you play,  it’s a sin on any day.”
#2 Golfer: “This is the worst course I’ve ever played on.”
Caddy: “This isn’t the golf course. We left that an hour ago.”
#1 Best Caddy Comment:
Golfer: “That can’t be my ball, it’s too old.”
Caddy: “It’s been a long time since we teed off, sir.”

And the old favorite…..is the one about the Golfer who has been slicing off the tee at every hole. He finally gives up and asks his long suffering caddy if he has seen any obvious problems to which the caddy replies.
“There’s a piece of shit on the end of your club “. The Golfer picks his club up and cleans the club face at which point the caddy says “No , the other end.”

John is a badass motha fucka

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