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The NBA, America’s Version of Soccer

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I think the only thing more pleasing then watching the Celtics lose the finals, is that the NBA finals are over. Is there a bigger crap shoot then the NBA right now? They are like a bunch of soccer players bitching over every little thing. I cannot believe this is tolerated by the officials, which leads me to the following five rule changes to improve the National Basketball Association.


  1. No blood, no foul. We are going straight back to old school playground rules. No more bullshit, tick tack fouls will be tolerated. If you are not bleeding profusely from a body part, you get no foul. This leads to the next rule…
  2. No bitching. You have thrown away your right to bitch when you’re raking in 8 figures to play a game. Sorry but nobody wants to see multi-millionaires complain because they just got smacked on the hand. Sack up. Any bitching will now lead to an immediate technical. Stop wasting the viewer’s time, get off the ground and stop with the moping teenage girl routine.
  3. 15 second shot clock. Let’s pick up the pace. Quit with the isolation, walk the ball up the court, basketball. Go back to fundamentals, run, gun and pass it to a teammate.
  4. Four point shots. Have some fun with it. Go ahead and let one rip from half court. We will now award you four points. Some may say this will taint the game, but let’s be mature about this; it really can’t get much worst.
  5. The Brian Scalabrine rule. One white guy on the court at all times. Purely for the comedic purposes of seeing a 6’9” red headed, Irish dude play with men that are far superior athletes then he. Other names for this rule; Mark Madsen Rule, Vlade Divac Rule or the Kurt Rambis Rule.

Will these simple rule changes change the dynamic of the modern day NBA, probably not, but I guarantee it would be more entertaining than watching 10, millionaire dollar, adult males, bitch and whine the entire contest because they either didn’t foul the guy or thought that a foul should have been called. We deserve better from these athletes and they should expect better from themselves. TheTruth@RollinSD.com

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