Advice Column

Rules When Texting Chicks

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This was sent in from one of our readers.  She actually has a really cool blog here in San Diego and this girl just gets it. I am trying to get her to become a weekly contributor and to give us guys a heads up of what to do and what not to do when it comes to women, fashion and about being a cool guy.  The women readers of RollinSD will also be able to take a few notes as she will also have information for them.   San Diego say hello to Amanda Jo of Here is her first contribution and I have a few friends who I am going to send this to right away.  They are going to think she is talking about them.

Ok, so you met the cutest new guy or girl, you’re dyingggg to hangout so you shoot them a text. Great. Fine. Perfect, way to be aggressive. Ok but woops…. they don’t reply? Well bad news for you that’s not a good start. I know, I know there are a million things that could have prevented a reply. They did mention white water rafting when you met, maybe they’re out of town with no service? Your phone hassss been acting funny, maybe it didn’t send? Maybe they’re working? So yea, there are a few random .0002% chances that they never got your text, that is why I will grant you a second text. BUT after that, you are NEVER to contact them again unless they reply.

However with this second text, there are rules. Serious rules. And I said TWO texts total, not NINE.

FIRST and foremost your second text may NEVER say “Oh okkkk or not” “Okkkk fine don’t reply” “I guess you don’t like me :(” Hello? Um I’m pretty sure they know they didn’t reply to you, no need to re bring it up like you noticed. Way to act totally desperate.

SECOND, your follow up text should be DAYS later, not an hour later like you have nothing better to do than to worry about whether or not he replied.

THIRD The second text should have NOTHING to do with your first text. If your first text said “hey whats upppp.” Then the most your second text can say is “Hey, were going out later if you want to come let me know.” The second text should just be a poke reminder like Hi, I’m here. If he bites great if not, delete. He’s not interested .

FOURTH (Most important) After you contact someone twice, whether it’s Facebook, Twitter, Text, Email, Calling whatever… if they do not reply after two tries, that’s IT. Never contact them again. I don’t care who it is unless they owe you money 😉

FIFTH When you are ignored, you are not allowed to reply ANGRY texts! Forget you, forget it. Oh ok I see how it is. Whatever you’re not hot anyway… all I am reading is “I was rejected and I am mad!” Save face and just be quiet.

Example of just one of the psycho texters: Hsdkflfdjkahaha are you kidding?

PS –  LOL doesn’t trick me into thinking you’re laughing and don’t care.

Exception to the Triple Texting law: The ONLY exception to this rule is if it’s a friend or someone you don’t care what they think. This post is in regards to dating and new phone numbers in your phone, not really anything else. Courting someone does not mean chasing until you’re out of breath.

Disclaimer: Disregard these rules if you are an asshole ex boyfriend who messed up, call a million times until she forgives you. Actually you should be at her door crying with flowers not calling anyway.

This rant was brought to you by Amanda Jo. For more boy bashing please visit her website

John is a badass motha fucka

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