Advice Column

Mother’s Day Advice

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Greetings Rollers!  I’m excited to be contributing my first post to RollinSD!  Don’t let my name fool you.  Lady Loose Lips does not mean I have a loose vagina.  It simply means I have no filter when I speak, and usually say what I think.  I hail from a long line of sarcastic women who love to tell others what to do.  I’m here for you.  I’ve seen and done it all and have an intense wealth of knowledge on many subjects.  Send me your questions and I’ll help you out of whatever bind you got yourself into.  No questions?  No worries. I have a plethora of opinions to share with you.  If you don’t like what I have to say, that’s fine.  But if I wanted your opinion, I’d give it to you.

Today’s advice is for Mother’s Day.   For some of us, we owe the utmost gratitude to our mothers.  Without mom, we may have gone hungry, never made it to school on time, or learned how to tie our shoes.   Mothers go out of their way 365 days a year to make sure their families are taken care of.  Yet, there is only one measly day out of the entire year devoted entirely to Moms.  So make sure you do it right!  Here are just a few ideas for your mom, wife, or baby mama, which will make her day extra special.

1.       Give her the day off.  Even if she protests and insists that she is happy to make breakfast or dinner – don’t buy it.  What she’s really saying is this. “Please let them take me out to dinner so I’m not forced to eat burnt toast and watered down Oj”.  Yeah, yeah.  I know some of you mom’s are reading this saying, Oh that would be so sweet to have my little ones make breakfast – I’d love it no matter how it tasted… blah blah blah.. Be serious.  I love my family just as much as the next person, but I like the taste of food more.

2.       Skip the cooking at home and take her to a nice brunch/lunch/dinner.  Most importantly, don’t complain about the price, or that you have to wear closed toe shoes.  Remember, it’s her day, don’t ruin it by opening your mouth.

3.        If you want to do something sweet – go out and pick your mom/wife/baby mama some wildflowers.  She will love that you were so creative and took the time to go outside and make a nice bouquet for her instead of just running into Vons and picking out some lame pink carnations.   And, as an added bonus – wildflowers are free!

4.       Never. I repeat. Never ask her what she wants to do for her special day.  Yes, guys, you run the risk of doing something “wrong”, but for once make a decision, and stick with it.  Mom’s have to plan every other event on every other single day.   Birthdays, Fathers Day, Holidays, you name it – we planned it.  For once use your own mind and think of something she would like to do and DO IT.  Don’t ask her how to plan it.

5.       And finally, get up off your cheap ass and buy her a nice gift.  It doesn’t have to be fancy, or shiny, or something that requires a small home loan.  Just get her something that she maybe wouldn’t necessarily buy for herself.

Finally, just make sure you appreciate your Mom’s the other 364 days of the year.  A little appreciation goes a long way.  In closing I leave you with some things you’d probably never hear your Mother say.

Happy Mother’s Day All!  ~Lady LL~ you have something you want Lady LL to comment on please email me and I will get it to her

Things Moms Would Never Say

“How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?”

“Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too”

“Just leave all the lights on…it makes the house look more cheery”

“Let me smell that shirt — Yeah, it’s good for another week”

“Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I’ll be glad to feed and walk him every day”

“Well, if Timmy’s mom says it’s OK, that’s good enough for me.”

“The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It’s not like I’m running a prison around here.”

“I don’t have a tissue with me… just use your sleeve”

“Don’t bother wearing a jacket – the wind-chill is bound to improve”

John is a badass motha fucka

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