McSpy Gate

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Hello Rollers – I hope everyone was able to drink enough to withstand the unwanted visitors for Thanksgiving.  Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m starting to figure out that my fantasy football team is only as good as the coaches that call the plays for my beloved players.  I’m in the hunt for my league trophy this year, and there is a certain coach who seem to be cock-blocking me all the way to the playoffs.

McSpy Gate – With the recent return of the McRib to McDonald’s, it’s only fitting to discuss another unhealthy, mysteriously meaty, yet delicious topic taking place in Denver this week.  Josh McDaniel has been accused of cheating by taking video of opposing signals on the sidelines to gain a competitive advantage.  The league will not look fondly upon this, especially since this his second offense.  Recall that McDaniels was at the center of this in New England.  This could be a bigger disaster for Denver than Lindsay Lohan’s nostrils, especially considering that the Broncos still suck even after cheating.  You better get results if you’re going to risk so much to cheat.  Barry Bonds and Mark McGuire ruined their legacy by using steroids, but hell, at least they got the on field results.  The Patriots lost a first round pick and Belichick lost $500K of his own money, but at least the Pats are perennial Super Bowl contenders.  But with Denver, well, imagine telling your wife you’re working late when you’re really taking your mistress to a five-star dinner.  Then you get her back to the hotel only to jizz in your drawers the minute things start to get heated.  What are you left with?  Well, you’ve still cheated and you have nothing to show for it.  I’m afraid Denver has jizzed in their shorts.

Spying certainly wasn’t Josh’s only blunder this year.  His personnel decisions have been brutal.  How do you trade away the modern day Mike Allstott with more speed in Peyton Hillis, a must start, fantasy touchdown machine, for a bag of footballs and a jugs machine?  How about Brandon Marshall, who’s struggling a bit in Miami with injuries and the revolving door at quarterback, but has the talent to be a weekly fantasy stud.  You can’t forget also that waiver wires were blowing up for Laurence Maroney once he was moved to Denver, but this Laurence has played more like Joey Lawrence.  Woa!

You know what?  Don’t get burned like I did.  In fact, from a fantasy perspective, stay away from all Denver RB’s the rest of the way.  The list goes on.  Using your first round pick on Tim Tebow!  Whose idea was that?  Tebow is laughing all the way to the bank with his bible and unused cleats.   You can see that Josh McDaniels is the opposite of King Midas, because everything he touches turns to shit.   You could have the opponents’ defensive coordinator walk over and hand you the play, but you still need talent around you to execute.

This guy alone could be standing in the way of me and my Pigskin Collection trophy from iwonmyleague.com.  Josh, if you’re gonna dress like your mentor Belichick, at least win like him.  Let’s see what Denver fans have to say…

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John is a badass motha fucka

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