Advice Column

Is There Such A Thing As A Bad Boob?

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Rollers, welcome Gigi.  This is her 2nd post on the site and I love her topics and insight.  She became a contributor when one of our readers responded to one of her comments on a post.  He said Gigi should write for the site. So, as a good listener, I reached out to her to see what she thought.  She liked the idea, but was a bit apprehensive.  Her first post has a link at the bottom of this post so be sure to check it out and let me know your thoughts. I think this girl is a keeper.  Send me topics you would like her to address in the future.  Let’s see if we can rattle her.

Is there such a thing as a bad boob?  This was the subject of conversation during my holiday weekend.  I was being my usual self and rambling on about this and that, and who’s screwing who, when I brought up the subject of a persons, shall we say, hideous rack.  My husband looked at me with disgust, and quickly responded, “There is NO such thing as a bad boob!”   So this got me thinking, is that really true?  I mean, I can understand why he said it, because of course, guys are visual, and if any woman is willing to show a little tit, whether it is small and round or big and bouncy, then that isn’t a bad thing.  As a woman, I’ve seen enough porn to know that there are some freakish looking jugs out there, and I just had to call bullshit on my husband’s response.  So, here are my descriptions of boobies, and you tell me good-bad-indifferent?

The pancake boob – These can be either small or large, but basically look like a pancake.  Sure they fill out a bra nicely, but once they are released from their corral – watch out.  It’s like those party horns you blow into that unroll.  Not good.

The porn star boob – Or what I call porn star boobs, anything ridiculously huge.  You’ve seen them, mainly those girls that are about 5-nothing, 80lbs, and have a rack bigger than their head.  Seriously?  Aren’t you afraid of losing a limb in those things?

The itty bitty boob – These raise a question in my head.  It’s a little childlike, and seems to me, if you like these mosquito bites, you have some serious issues, and should probably stay at least 100ft from any school or park.

The nipple boob.  This is where the nipple is nearly the entire size of the boob, boob – I’ve actually seen these in person, and let me tell you, it’s a little intimidating.  We all know the nipple is the holy land, what a task for you guys to have to tackle that project.

Last but not least, the most talked about, implants, aka bolt ons. – I say, if you want ‘em and don’t have ‘em, go get ‘em.  Just make sure you aren’t lame and try to pretend you just grew them overnight.  Give me a break honey.  We all know you were rocking a training bra last weekend, and all of a sudden have these giant melons today.  Give it up.  Be proud, show them off.  Everyone is curious on how they look and feel.  Don’t be such a prude.  Give it up.

So what is the perfect boob?  I interviewed a few subjects on this question, and pretty much came up with the same answer.  Any boob or woman rather, that lets you ogle, fondle, and motorboat your tits without argument is/has the perfect boobs.   So for all you ladies that think you don’t have the perfect rack – just let them out and see how many thanks you get.

Next week we’ll talk about if there is such as thing as ugly junk – wait, never mind I can do that now.  YES. Sorry, they are all ugly. It doesn’t matter how much you trim your bush around your deck. It’s all horrible.  -Gigi

Gigi’s Last Weeks Post

and here is the photo Gigi sent me of her boobs.  what do you think guys?

John is a badass motha fucka

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