Just Good Shit

How To Spot A Douchebag.

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Sorry Ladies (and the occasional guy that reads my posts).  I had to take a much needed hiatus.  But I’m back, and full of shit as usual.  So, while on my hiatus, I dabbled in some much needed R&R.  While I was frolicking about, I ran across some very interesting people.  A species better known as Douchebags.  Ok, cut the crap.  I saw a lot of a-holes out there that really drove me nuts, and I’m a pretty cool person. But these guys made me want to scratch my eyes out.  So, here’s a warning on how to spot a Douchebag when you’re out and about this weekend.  You can thank me later.

A Douchebag is a person with an over-inflated sense of self worth. Douchebags often put themselves out as an alpha male. The best way to distract a douchebag is by taking its picture because Doucebags are attention whores.

Chances are you have already seen a Douchebag. Here are a few tips on how to spot a Douchebag.

dbag 21. A Douchebag often wears sunglasses inside.

2. A Douchebag often has an open/no shirt.

3. A Douchebag often has a fake tan.

4. A Douchebag often has spiked hair.

5. A Douchebag often has loud jewelry (and it’s usually fake).

6. Douchebags often have douchey tattoos (usually a Chinese character or barbed wire, or the infamous “tramp stamp”)
7. A Douchebag will often think he is in Europe, when in fact Douchebags have rarely left their hometown.

8. A Douchebag will always have some form of Ed Hardy gear on.

9. When a douchebag does wear a hat, he twists it slightly to the side.

10. Douchebags will readily give you two numbers: 1) Their telephone number, and 2) how much they can bench press.

11. A Douchebag will have a twitter account, and his account name will always be “awesome___(insert name)”

12. A Douchebag will always tell you how awesome he is.

14. A Douchebag will listen to his “system” loudly at a stop sign with his windows down and then look around to see who is watching him.

I had a friend forward me this twitter account to follow. I have been following PBDouchebag and this is why I am writting this to you today. Who does this guy think he is?  He is the typical DB and is just so full of himself.   ~Lady Loose Lips

John is a badass motha fucka

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