Critical Kemp

Critical Kemp Sons of Anarchy

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More below-the-radar Critical Kemp recommendations for the Rollin crew, for movies or series on DVD that deserve time on your tv screen.

“Sons of Anarchy” (Season 1 – Now avail on DVD)

So this is solid advice for any Rollin member who has some annoying douche that works with your girlfriend or wife – you know the type; you hear that he stops by her office a couple times a week, to “just say hi” or “see how she’s doin”, but we all know what the fucker is up to.  Now it’s okay for you to do this at your work, of course, but if you’ve sniffed out one of those douches buzzing around your old lady, do the following:  First, don’t jerk off for a week.  Brew that no-release angst up almost to boiling point.  That’s the hard part.  Second, drink a fifth of whisky in one sitting, preferably a brand named after a guy from the south.  Next, watch as many episodes of the first season of “Sons of Anarchy” as you need to, the exact point varies a little bit for everybody, but you’ll know when you are ready.  Then, surprise your woman at work at close of business for “surprise dinner”, but most importantly, pretend to run into douche-boy by accident on his way out of the office, and offer to walk him to his car.  By the end of the walk, drive-by douche should have an understanding that you are a powder-keg of testosterone looking to be set off, and will scurry away like a kicked dog.  From that point he’ll do no more than smile nervously at your girl when he sees her in the cafeteria.  Of course for good measure, bring your girl home that night after dinner, and fuck her…..well.

“Sons of Anarchy” is what every masculine, guy-targetted show should be.  A good storyline, cool characters, drugs, guns, swearing, hookers, and at least one 10 minute fight per show without fail.  A bar fight, a turf brawl, doesn’t matter – what you do know is you can count on one. The “Sons” are led by Hellboy himself Ron Perlman, and (it took me a while to place) Charlie Hunnam, who was actually on a great, but short lived Judd Apatow (40-Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up) television vehicle, Undeclared.  The show didn’t last long, but Charlie played a college party boy that woke up every episode with a new girl, so kid was off to a good start.  But now both are convincing as northern California bikers.  Kurt Sutter, the creator of The Shield is to thank for the authenticity, as he spent time with real bikers to get the context and mood of the show correct.  A show with smart writing, satisfying story arcs and vastly different than anything else on tv, “Sons of Anarchy” Season 1 on DVD is RollinSD approved!

– Critical Kemp


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