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400-Pound Woman Caught Shoplifting When Motorized Cart Gets Stuck

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A Pontiac (MI) woman’s alleged theft attempt was foiled this week when her motorized cart became stuck at a Rochester Hills Meijer.
Jerrie Perkins, 30, is charged with unarmed robbery, resisting and obstructing a police officer and second-degree retail fraud.  Investigators said Perkins was attempting to leave the Rochester Road Meijer with more than $600 worth of stolen electronic merchandise when her cart got stuck and she was unable to drive out the door.

A sheriff’s deputy arrived and asked Perkins to put her hands behind her back, but she “cursed at the deputy, balled her right hand into a fist and took a fighting stance,” according to a press release from the Sheriff’s Office.

The deputy Tasered Perkins, who then complied with the deputy’s commands and was taken to jail.

They see Jerrie rollin’…they hatin’.  The Scooter Store needs to step the fuck up here.  Ever hear of making a battery strong enough to get a big-boned thief out of the Meijer store?  When you’re pushing 4 bills, you have to do what you can to survive.  If that means stuffing electronics merchandise between your massive tits, then so be it.  I mean – this is Michigan for Christ’s sake.  Unemployment is like 85%.  I’m not mad at Jerrie or the cops…what I’m angry about is the shoddy reporting.  I have so many unanswered questions…

Where was the merchandise hidden?  Presumably in her rolls of fat, but I don’t know for sure.

What kind of electronics was she stealing?  Are we talking i-pods or 52” plasma TVs?

And what happens when you taser a 400 pound broad?  When I was in 8th grade my science project was to run 120 volts of electricity through a hot dog in order to cook it.  It didn’t smell great but it worked.  Did the same thing happen here?

Where’s the journalistic integrity? ~ BJ

Complete Story  A 400 Pound Women Caught Shoplifting When Motorized Cart Gets Stuck

John is a badass motha fucka

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